If You’re Drywaller Seems like Pirate, That’s a Good Sign

Aye, matey. As I started writing about why Drywaller Bill is so awesome, I realized he had a few things in common with Captain Jack Sparrow. First, Bill referred to our house as The Black Pearl. Okay, I’m kidding, he didn’t. But it could be called that cause it’s the home remodeling project that will not die and it haunts our lives daily.

Anyways, Bill and Jeff taught us the difference between good drywallers and douchebag dryallers. These are signs that you have a good drywaller (a.k.a Bill) and I think you’ll agree, they’re very pirate-like. Arrrr!

1. Peglegs

Okay, they’re actually stilts and professional drywallers us them so they can mud ceilings without having to constantly move ladders. I so wanted to put these on and walk around in them. I’m only 5’ 2” and it would’ve felt so great to be tall. Plus, those puppies would make buying jeans so much easier – no more wandering around the dressing room with 2 feet of denim gathered around my feet. But considering I can barely balance on one foot, I thought it would be a bad idea to try to walk around on pegs that tower over the floor. I’d make a horrible pirate.

2. He walks a plank

That is, when he’s drywalling and mudding your 20’ high foyer. He stood on that plank while taping and mudding, hovering over our front entrance. And shiver me timbers, I was in no way tempted to use this apparatus. But it would’ve been a cool picture. Especially if I had the stilts on, too. But then I probably would’ve fallen to my death.

3. Just like The Dread Pirate Roberts was to Buttercup in the move The Princess Bride, Bill is our hero.

He saved us from a crappy drywaller and an even crappier drywalling job. Look at what nice work he did:

And when we asked Bill to return in a few months to drywall our kitchen, he said “As you wish.” Actually, he really said “Right on, man.” But that’s just as good.

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