What I know about the potty
Today is Day Seven on The Potty Train, and Adeline continues to be a (mostly) successful passenger. There have been minimal accidents, and she’s more than happy to pee when we’re out and about. I think she actually likes using other bathrooms and checking out other people’s potty setups.
She’s got the pee thing down (except at school. She’s had accidents each day there). The poop thing? We’re working on it. Right now she’s holding it until she’s in a diaper at bedtime. It is so crazy how pooping in a toilet can be a complex thing for some toddlers. It is also crazy that I am so openly chatting about poop and pee on the Internet. I’m sure Addy will love it when she hits the awkward teen years.
So. Here’s what’s worked for us with Adeline. Of course, as with anything, every child is different and what works for yours may be different from what works for mine.
1. We had great success with the book Potty Training in Less Than a Day. I did not follow it verbatim, but used it as guide. I have a friend who did use it verbatim and her son was potty trained in 1 day.
2. Don’t half-ass it. I did the first time. In part because I gave birth shortly after we started our efforts, and I was too tired and overwhelmed to deal with potty training. Have a solid game plan before you start.
3. If there’s another baby coming and you want your first potty trained before the second arrives, give yourself plenty of time.
4. Make every aspect about the experience positive. We did not do this the first and second time we tried potty training Addy, saying things like, “It makes Mommy sad when you have an accident.” We thought this would teach her that going in her pants was not okay, but I think it put too much pressure on her. Now, we make her remove her dirty clothing herself and put it in the hamper and tell her that accidents are okay, but pee and poop belong in the potty. We also reward her (first with a treat but now with just praise) for keeping her pants dry.
5. The biggest thing we did right this time was letting Adeline take full responsibility for things. When we started potty training this time, we explained that her body makes pee and poop every day and that it wants to get out of her body and be in the toilet and it’s her job to get it there. Then we told her to tell us when she needed to use the bathroom and we never brought it up again. In other words, we don’t ask her if she needs to go potty. Even if she’s hopping around doing the potty dance. We learned this technique when we googled the phrase potty training the strong-willed child and found this link. In the past, we relentlessly asked Addy if she needed to go to the bathroom. And if she wouldn’t voluntarily sit on the potty (like before we left the house), we would force her to and she’d be crying the entire time. Not the right way to encourage a kid to want to use the bathroom. I think all of that put too much pressure on her, became annoying and added to the power struggle we’ve had over potty training. Again, this all depends on your child and what you think will work best for them.
6. Be careful with Pull Ups. To Adeline, they’re no different than a diaper – not something that’s meant to stay dry. So if you introduce Pull Ups, explain that they’re supposed to stay dry.
7. Not sure if you checked out the comments from my last potty training post, but Tracy-Lynne shared that she never used candy and treats when training her son and she committed 100 percent, meaning no diapers or Pull Ups at all. I think this is awesome, and the ideal way to do things, because then you avoid having to wean your kid from getting rewards/candy when they use the potty.
8. Play it by ear. If you’re child is resisting, decide if you need to back off or stick to your guns. For us, we knew Adeline was capable of using the bathroom because with each of our previous attempts, she did it successfully for several days before we messed stuff up and she stopped doing it. So, we felt okay holding our ground, even when she was throwing an epic tantrum over no more diapers, because we knew she could it. Simply put, it was time.