Cry For Me
A while back, I shared a most tragic story with you. It was the story of how my tastebuds were being deprived of dairy products because my little angelic, exclusively breastfed daughter screamed and unleashed alien-like bodily fluids when I ate it.
Yes, that baby girl, who just turned 2 months and barely fits in the bassinet we used during her first weeks of life.
So, I sucked it up and exchanged my hourly intake of cheese, ice cream, milk and yogurt for soy. Soy milk, soy ice cream and even soy yogurt. I skipped the soy cheese, cause seriously, if you can’t have the real thing, what’s the point?
Although my baby girl’s diapers became “normal,” she remained fussy and rather phlemy. Turns out she’s sensitive to soy, too. God damn it.
So, still trying to suck it up, I exchanged my daily intake of soy (who wants to eat anything soy on an hourly basis? Not me.) for rice. Rice milk and rice ice cream. I don’t think they make rice yogurt or cheese, and if they did, I would be too scared to eat it.
Do you know what a poor, poor substitution this stuff is for actual milk and ice cream? However, I need something to put in my cereal and seeing that I literally salivate when I pass a Culver’s Custard Stand, I had to get something ice creamish or I really think I might lose my mind.
Let me remind you – I live and die for food. I write about food for a living! Now I cry a little in the dairy isle every time I go to the store.
I can already predict that my butt and thighs will triple in size when I stop breastfeeding because I am going to eat nothing but pizza, cheese, malts and hot fudge sundaes for a month straight and I will wash it all down with vats of eggnog and chocolate milk. I am going to make a bath of Velveeta (lets face it, it melts better than Cheddar) and sit in it with a pile of Frito’s until all the processed, cheesy goodness is gone. Then, I will perk myself up with thousands of lattes and rejoice over the milk-infused caffeine pumping through my veins. And finally, I will celebrate my return to the nothing-is-off-limits food world by sipping several Brandy Old Fashions (sweet, with cherries, please), because, my Friends, that is how we do it in Wisconsin.
So, whatever dairy – or even soy – product you are about to enjoy this weekend, please, please do me a favor and savor every bit of it (Or, as my friend Cheri suggested, poor a 40 of milk out onto the sidewalk in my honor). Because there are some of us who must live without it so that they can remind their baby, when she turns 13 and is a complete brat, of the sacrifices made for her well being. Also, if you see a new mom caressing the brie at the grocery store, give her some privacy. She’s mourning.
P.S. A big thank you to Dave and Carole of 96.5 WKLH for mentioning my blog and reading my email on the radio yesterday. I didn’t hear it (that damn baby!), but was told about it.
My daughter was bottle fed and was so sensitive, we were one step below getting prescription formula. There's no way I would have made it through without dairy. You are a stronger woman and I:-)
Hi
My name is Evie Simpson. I've just visited your website http://aconstructedlife.blogspot.com/ and I was wondering if you'd be interested in exchanging links with my website. I can offer you a HOME PAGE link back from my Industrial Supply website which is
http://www.angusandannie.com/ with page rank 5
If you are interested, please add the following information to your website and kindly let me know when it's ready. I'll do the same for you in less than 24 hours, otherwise you can delete my link from your site.
Title: Construction Machinery
URL: http://www.priorityplant.com/
Description: A wide range of quality new and used construction machinery from Priority Plant.
I hope you have a nice day and thank you for your time.
Best regards;
Evie Simpson
Web Marketing Consultant
evie.simpson@angusandannie.com
PLEASE NOTE THAT THIS IS NOT A SPAM OR AUTOMATED EMAIL, IT'S ONLY A REQUEST FOR A LINK EXCHANGE. YOUR EMAIL ADDRESS HAS NOT BEEN ADDED TO ANY LISTS, AND YOU WILL NOT BE CONTACTED AGAIN.IF YOU'D LIKE TO MAKE SURE WE DON'T CONTACT YOU AGAIN, PLEASE FILL IN THE FOLLOWING FORM:http://WWW.NOMOREMAILS.COM; OR WRITE AN EMAIL TO STOP@NOMOREMAILS.COM.
PLEASE ACCEPT OUR APOLOGIES FOR CONTACTING YOU.
Wow, this child is asking a LOT now isn't she? 🙂 Though I see she already has developed a penchant for cute shoes …
I feel so sorry for you but, your post made me laugh.:)