A Constructed Life

You Guys Are Wacky

You know all those Google searches you’ve done over the years? Imagine if everyone in the world saw them – every question, phrase and search term you’ve ever thrown out to the Internet, captured and displayed for all to see. What would that cumulative list look like and what would it say about you as a person? I, for one, would be absolutely mortified if anyone besides my computer and me knew what I’ve Googled, especially now that I’m pregnant.

Now, I certainly have no idea what you’ve Googled and hopefully no one does, but thanks to my traffic counter, StatCounter, I am privy to a few unique phrases that have brought people to this site.

And I would like to share them with you.

Some leave me mystified as to how a particular combination of words, when typed into Google, Yahoo, etc, lead people to this blog. Others, well…it’s my own fault that such odd phrases correlate with my ramblings.

Am I fat or just bloated?
Um, I don’t really know, but in the context of this blog, the correct answer would actually be “Neither. You’re pregnant.” Seeing that I wrote a post titled, “Am I Just Bloated or Is That a Baby in There?” I can understand this one.

Holy shit a new phone
OMG!!! That is SO CRAZY exciting! A new phone! Whoohoo!!! High fives all around! I don’t get this one at all. Not even a tiny bit. I don’t think I’ve even typed the word “phone” on this blog. Well, until now.

Pics that could go with perfection
Well of course this brings you to my blog, the ultimate destination for all things perfect! From my typos to grammatical errors and poorly lit photos, perfection exudes from every megapixel (I don’t even know what that word means) here.

Can I get caulk off my clothes?

That is a good question and a legitimate one at that. I’ve yammered on and on about caulk, how to use it and why it can make you cry, so I get this one, too. In my experience, caulk does not come off when using a washer and dryer. You can spend hours trying to picking it off your clothes, but I think the bigger lesson here is don’t do any home remodeling in clothing you want to keep clean.

Zits on my belly while pregnant
I swear that one’s not from me! If ever start blogging about zits on the exterior of my baby-growing center, stop reading this blog. However, I do recall a post where I compared a huge zit to a pregnant belly, so I guess this one shouldn’t surprise me. But it does makes me feel a little funny about the things I write about.

Food baby ate too much belly
Wow. That’s gotta suck when that happens. Food Babies are SO crazy like that – always eating far more belly than they should. That is precisely why I am having a HUMAN baby instead of one made from food.

I will never understand what Food Babies eating bellies has to do with my blog, but I am thoroughly amused by the fact that my blog seems to be a hot spot for Food Baby Enthusiasts.

By the way, I Googled “Food Baby,” and according to Urban Dictionary, here’s what it is:

1. food baby

When you eat so much, that your stomach looks pregnant
Jeez! I ate so much, I look like I am having a food baby!

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