Ch-ch-ch-changes…
It’s a strange thing to see the body you once “knew” turning into one that’s “new.” I don’t recognize it anymore and I’m occasionally still surprised to find an ever-growing belly protruding from my waistline, even though it sits just 2 feet below my nose all day long.
Doesn’t it look like there’s a green tail growing from my belly? Hopefully that’s not an indication of the type of child I’m going to have. It’s actually the drawstring on my pants, which are the most comfortable pants in the entire world.
A few weeks ago, when three of my best friends asked how I was feeling about becoming a mom, I said, “I just want to recognize myself when this is all over.” I want to find the body I once knew, although I know it will now forever be decorated with stretch marks, and I want to see the old “me” I’ve always known join forces with the new “me” that will emerge.
More importantly, I’m realizing that I need to make myself open to this entire experience. Too often I am trying to control and steer my day, my week, my life. I’m beginning to understand that when it comes to this moment, I need to just let it be. Worrying, stressing, preparing and planning are normal and, to a degree, necessary. But they’re distracting me from what’s really happening, from savoring the changes I’m witnessing and from appreciating these last months as just “me,” where life includes coming and going as I please, sleeping through the night and not being intimately familiar with anyone else’s bodily functions.
I’ll miss these days and I’ll miss the pre-mommy “me” and pre-baby “Liz and Joey.” But, I know despite the challenges that are about to plow me over, life will eventually settle into a new norm that I will learn to embrace. However, I’m just as certain that I will forever miss lazy mornings in bed and not having to call a babysitter whenever Joey and I need a moment alone. But as each day day passes, I’m finding I’m more and more willing to trade in my Flippy Cup aptitude for crazy impressive diaper changing skills. Maybe I can learn to play Flippy Bottle or Flippy Sippy Cup. These are just a few of the unknowns that lie ahead.
I just found out Im expecting my 3rd baby! Totally not planned. My other babies are 9 and 5. It is life changing but its worth it, especially the first time they look at you and call you mommy. Just enjoy the time , it goes quick.
Well said! You are more ready for the change than you think!
Mandy – Wow! Congrats! I have a coworker who swears that 3 kids are easier than 2. And the other two are old enough now to help, which should be great. Thanks for your words of wisdom and for reading!
Susie – as always, thank you, thank you, thank you for your positive comments!
I felt all those same things these last few months. I always told people I was feeling every emotion possible about becoming a mom. I’m really enjoying reading all your pregnancy blogs!
That is so awesome. Change isn’t always bad. And it’s going to be the HUGEST growth experience of your life (if you do it right). And I have no doubt you will.
I’m still waiting to see if she looks like Joey so we can actually SEE Joey … 🙂
Hi Liz, I’ve been reading your blog here and there, and reading this post on Mother’s Day totally made me tear up.
I just had to say — you won’t even care about the “pre-pregnancy me” once you have your little girl. Instead, you’ll discover the “me” you never knew you were, the “me” who is more than anything you ever imagined, and you’ll be amazed by her! Promise!
Hope to see you both soon!
– Holly
Hey Holly! I’m glad to see that you’re reading the blog. Since you’re a mom of two great little girls, your words really mean a lot. Thanks for reading and hope to see you soon!
Shelley – congrats on being a brand new mom! I can’t wait to hear more about how and your beautiful baby girl are doing!
NV – Thank you!!! I’m really hoping at some point Joey will let you guys see more than his profile, too!