Questionable “Food” Products

Imagine if your work environment included a test kitchen, where skilled cooks whipped up food all day long, a photo studio, where only the best recipes were perfectly prepared and styled, and a database that included hundreds of thousands of professionally tested recipes. Now imagine the array of culinary creations you’d sample on a daily basis while working at such a place.

Since I do work at such a place (and I thank my lucky stars for it daily), I’d like to share a few mouthwatering items I’ve recently sampled. I think you’ll be amazed at what you see. However, let me point out that none of these products were prepared by or at the place I am employed, they were simply sampled at work during lunch.

Let’s begin with dessert, shall we?

Why, what do we have here? Is that a Choco Taco, the icy, chocolaty, vending machine treat? Why, yes, it is!

My work buddies and I have long wondered about the Choco Taco, debating it’s potential awesomeness or horrendousness. Recently, we gathered up $1.75 in change and headed to the vending machine to conduct a taste test.

The Choco Taco label describes it as this: Artificially flavored fudge rippled reduced fat vanilla ice cream, a taco shell cone, milk chocolate flavored coating and crunchy peanuts.

Mmmmm…I love artificially flavored fudge.

When asked how he would describe the Choco Taco, one of our taste testers had this to say. “I would describe it thusly: Like eating chewy cardboard coated in fake chocolate ‘product’ with yummy crystallized vanillaish white cold stuff in the middle. Such a treat. And yes, I would get it again.”

There you have it, folks. A foodie’s take on the Choco Taco. Let’s move on to our entree, shall we?

“What in the world is that?” you may be asking, as you should. Because, seriously, what is that???

That, my friends, is a canned beef tamale.

When mixed with rice and beans, it doesn’t look half bad.

And when sampled alone, it didn’t taste half bad.

Well, it certainly tasted better than it looked when sitting alone on a paper plate. Kind of bland and mealy, but certainly a product you could eat, and slightly enjoy, when real tamales are not available to you.

And finally, every well-rounded meal needs fruits and veggies, right? Well, let’s go above and beyond and get 8 servings of them in just a few bites with this handy convenience product…

Rebar! And you thought they were just steel rods used to support concrete! Think again!

In this solid and chewy form, Rebar is chock full of organic produce and fiber. Let’s take a peek at the ingredients…

Wow! All that is in this little bar? Impressive!

It sure looks…healthy.

After giving it a nibble, our panel concluded that it tastes somewhat like the filling of a Fig Newton cookie, but not as sweet. The flavor of raisin and apple takes over the other ingredients, which is probably a good thing. It is a tad dry, but I could see this being a staple for serious backpackers and campers. It might taste better mixed into some vanilla yogurt or oatmeal.

So…that concludes today’s installment of “What Food-Enthusiasts Eat,” which includes whatever whacky thing they can get their hands on, cause we’re curious like that.

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