Balloon Bouquet Accurately Predicts Baby’s Gender

Once my belly exploded on to the scene, the analysis of its shape and whether it held a boy or girl began, which was followed by half a dozen baby-predicting questions. Did I sleep my left side a lot? Cause then it’s a boy. Was I craving sweet or salty things? A need for sugar absolutely means it’s a girl. What about the heart rate…if the baby’s heart rate is low then it’s a boy. But wait…you’re face kind of looks different, so it must be a girl.

As much as I loved playing the guessing game, I knew there was an easy way to determine the answer everyone was after. Speculation and wives’ tales weren’t necessary because we could just use technology to find out exactly what was causing my belly to expand. I’m all for enjoying life’s surprises, but this was one surprise I just couldn’t wait for. Besides, having a human emerge from between my legs is surprise enough for me at this point.

So, this past Monday, we went in for The Big Ultrasound, where an hour of measuring and checking the baby ends in a grand finale of unveiling its gender.

I have to be honest, every time I go in for an ultrasound, a third of me expects the doctor to lean over and say “Um…Sweetie, there’s nothing in there. You’ve just been eating too much.”

The other third of me is terrified the screen will reveal this…

…while the remaining third is sane enough to know I’ll see a real human baby. Happily, that third was correct.

Our baby is doing great and is healthy as can be, which is such a relief.

And to answer the question of whether it’s a boy or a girl…well, I’ve developed my own wives’ tale about that. There’s been a balloon bouquet sitting in my and Cheri’s office since her baby shower in mid-February. The balloons stayed inflated for weeks and then slowly, one by one, they started sinking to the floor. Except for one lone balloon, which still hovers proudly. That balloon is like my divining rod, my crystal ball, the soothsayer of my womb.

We’re having a baby girl.

Now here’s the kicker – the other balloon bouquet that was in our office had a blue balloon floating way at the top…and Cheri had a boy.

So, the next time you encounter a pregnant woman, tell her the secret to predicting her baby’s gender lies in a cluster of latex balloons. Insist that she buy a pastel-themed balloon bouquet and see what color is the last one standing.

Joey and I are thrilled and mildly anxious about having a girl. He’s a boy, so he knows what he has to protect her from when she starts dating. And I’m a girl, so I’m already cringing at the emotional drama that will unfurl in 13-15 years. I’m holding out hope that we’ll somehow avoid it. And if that’s not possible, at least we have the skills to build her a tower, where we will keep her until she’s 18.

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