The Doors
On most days, I like doors. I appreciate them for their ability to open and close and get me from room to room. But on this day, I have a bone to pick with doors, especially the two that are spoiling the solution to all our kitchen remodeling dilemmas.
The doors I speak of are these…
..the two furthest to left. The two that are taking up valuable wall space in my kitchen. Would you like to see what’s behind the doors? Okay then.
Let’s do this the right way…
Behind Door Number One we have…
…the steps to the second floor, a bunch of insulation and a Rubbermaid bin full of cookbooks!!!!
(Insert audience ”ooohs” and “aaaahs” here)
But wait, Internet! There’s more! What’s behind Door Number Two???!!!
Stairs that lead to The Blair Witch Basement, a stash of paper products and Miller Lite!!!
(Insert vigorous audience applause here)
I don’t know about you, but it would’ve been way cooler if there was a new car, $8,000 or even a bedroom set or Lazy Boy recliner back there.
Joey and I would love to rip out the two separate staircases and start over, reconfiguring them into one staircase that leads from the basement to the second floor. That way we’d only need to have one door, and we’d like that one door to open into the pantry…
…where those cabinet doors are. So instead of a cabinet, that space would have a door leading to steps down to the basement and up to the second floor. Then we could completely close up the two doorways in the kitchen and cover the wall with cabinets, a refrigerator or a large poster of Bob Barker.
But reconfiguring and rebuilding stairs is WAY over our heads, so we invited Ken, the very nice carpenter, out to our house to give us his expert opinion on the project.
Ken stared at the steps, went up and down the steps, measured the steps and then stared at the steps some more (maybe he was looking for that Lazy Boy). We watched and waited with baited breath, much like a game show contestant waits to hear if they either doubled or “zonked” (that’s ‘Let’s Make a Deal’ speak for “lost”) all their winnings.
Finally, Ken turned to us, ready to deliver his answer. “C’mon, Ken! No whammies, no whammies!”
“This is an old house and old houses have narrow stairwells. There’s no way I could rebuild these steps in that stairwell so they span three floors and meet building codes. I’m sorry.”
Aww, Ken! What if we get a pretty model to come out to smile and make grand sweeping gestures at the stairs while we talk about them? Will that help?
But we knew that was his final answer. We were the loosing contestants on the show “Let’s Make This Kitchen Not Suck So Much.” I wanted to tear up as if misfortune had just yanked away the new Jeep Wrangler that Pat Sajak had dangled in my face. But instead, Joey and I nodded understandingly and bombarded Ken with 6 other projects we needed his help with.
To be perfectly honest, when Ken left, we called another carpenter and a builder to see what they had to say about the steps. It’s not that we don’t believe or trust Ken, it’s just that we’ve been watching “You’ve Got a Crappy Kitchen” for years now and feel fairly certain that the secret to winning the jackpot is in the staircase. Maybe we’ll be proven wrong. Or maybe this time I’ll try talking to the carpenter Jeopardy-style, saying “‘Yes’ is the answer to what significant question we have about the stairs?”
On a totally different note: I simply cannot reference game shows without showing clips from my all-time favorite game show on the planet. I LOVED this show (it was on in the mid 90s) and it’s the only game show I every actually wanted to be on.
I’m having trouble visualizing this, let alone explaining it, but I’ll try.
I’m thinking about the door to the basement stairs. I have a closet off my kitchen that has a humongous trapdoor in its floor. Under the trap door, stairs down into the crawl space. (If you think you have a spooky basement now, this will up the spooky factor considerably. Every time I go down there, I expect to be trapped and only found when I’m a bunch of bones. I knew there was a reason I should have gotten married.)
Obvious problems, having the trapdoor big enough to get large things up and down the stairs if you need to, and supporting the closet floor and weight of whatever you put in the closet. Plus the code people might have a cow. But if it worked, although you’d still have a bunch of doors, you’d also have more kitchen storage. And more kitchen floor space than if you built cabinets on that part of the wall.
p.s. Do you actually use your basement, or is it just a home for scary furnaces?
Or, how about replacing that basement door with a “secret door” that looks like part of the wall, and having stuff on it, mostly lightweight stuff like racks for pots and pans, and not stuff that would whack into the wall next to it when the door was opened. You would probably have to have the door hinged on the right side for that.
Although now I am envisioning the doors whacking into each other if someone opens the door from the second floor stairs. Unless they both opened otthe right.
Liz,
I just want to say that I am very proud of the work that you have done with this blog. You guys have done a great job with the house, but I am not sure which is more impressive, the renovation or this blog!! Congrats and I from now on will be a loyal reader. Thanks for your hospitality last night. Shari and I are proud to be friends with you guys.
JQ
Karen Anne – great potential solutions to our “door” problem! I’ve always thought secret doors were especially cool. Unfortunately, the basement houses our washer and dryer, all our camping gear and the majority of our tools, so we’re constantly hauling stuff up and down the stairs. Thanks for your ideas – I love your creative approach to the issue!
Jeffy – thank you so much! I’m glad you’re pleased with how the house is turning out, especially because you saw what we started with. Joey and I had a great time with you and Sheri on Friday – we’re just as proud to have you two as our fiends. However, I feel like I was a bad hostess cause I didn’t offer you “a spot of toothpaste.” I apologize. Happy blog reading!