Am I Just Bloated Or Is That A Baby in There?

Just kidding! That’s actually Cheri, my officemate, who is about to go into labor at any moment. Literally. I eagerly wait her entrance into our office each morning to see if she made it another day.

As you can see from the above photo, the pregnant lady profile is a very effective way to illustrate the progress of your Grow-a-Human Center. I thought I would take a different route though. Since you’ve seen many photos of my legs and feet during multiple home remodeling projects…

…here they are after caulking the trim in the master bedroom and the shower tiles in the master bath…

…here they are after spending hours sanding a door…

…and here they are after hours of tiling…

…I figured I’d continue with that theme and begin “Shoe Watch,” where we see how long it takes for my stomach to overtake my feet and we can no longer see them.

Here’s where we’re at so far…

Not bad. To be perfectly honest with you, that little gut is made up of one part “too much cheese, ice cream and pasta” and two parts “baby.” Do you want to know a secret about me? I have just enough pudge on my tummy (and creativity and spare time) that I can use my hands to form it into the shape of a baby’s legs and butt (how ironic). I know – it sounds odd and confusing and I’d love to show you how it’s done, but that would be horrifying for us all.

Okay, who else is going to show their bellies and talk about gut fat on the internet? Maybe I should turn this into a “Belly Girth” meme. I’m sure it would be incredibly popular.