Who is this “Joey” character, anyways?

You read about him all the time, yet you know so little about him. His photos are everywhere, yet you don’t really know what he looks like. This is because he only allows me to post pictures of his body parts, like these (don’t worry, I’m keeping it G rated)…

Here’s his legs…

Here’s his feet…

Here’s his arms and hands…

And here’s his butt…

When I take pictures of him for the blog, he’s always sure to pose in a way that hides his face…

And if I sneak in a photo that actually shows all of him, it has to be from a distance so you can’t quite tell who he is…

So why all the secretiveness? Because of his job. Joey has a job where his public image is important (let’s just say it involves 900 kids and several thousand parents, and no, he’s not a teacher), and if this were a blog about how I save puppies and babies, I’d plaster his face all over it. But since I use words like ‘Douchebag’ and the occasional four-letter profanity, I try to keep him out of it. I’d hate for his reputation to be tarnished when a 5th grader finds his photo in a post about how really good f@#%ing beer helps us survive our remodeling project. (Although I realize the chances of a 5th grader finding this blog are slim – I don’t think they do searches for “remodeled bathrooms” or “how to hang drywall” – I don’t want to take any chances.)

But at the same time, I want you to know who he is because he’s my partner in all this and he has his own take on home remodeling. I’m trying to convince him to participate in a very easy, no pressure Q & A, but he’s reluctant and says “Liz, the blog is your thing. They don’t care who I am.” I beg to differ. So either he’ll take the painless Q & A, or I’ll find a way to subtly drop in questions like “So, Joey, what would you do if I accidently started the house on fire and just let it burn down?”

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