Not cool, Birthday Cake. Not cool at all.
For the last several years, when Joey’s birthday rolls around, I make him a fancy cake. Sometimes it’s one I choose for him, other times he picks out a recipe himself. This year he selected a creation from the October issue of Martha Stewart.
The Peanut, Caramel and Chocolate Tart, which was supposed to mimic the flavors of a Snickers bar. It sounded amazing, but looked intimidating. I had to make a crust-from scratch, make a caramel sauce-from scratch, a creamy peanut layer-from scratch and a thick layer of chocolate on top-from scratch. And I had to do it while a toddler terrorized my kitchen. But I thought, “Hey, I can do this. I’ve been reading Martha Stewart since I was 15 and write about baking extravagant goodies all the time. Something must have sunk in at some point.”
Since it was Joey’s 453rd birthday, or something like that, I figured it was time to pull out all the stops. So, I went for it. And it was not fun. I had to make the caramel sauce 3 times, and even then, I couldn’t get it to work as it would either cook too fast and crystallize or cook to slow and never achieve the required shade of “medium amber” which, by the way Martha, if you could’ve just called it “light gold,” you would’ve spared me 5 minutes of debating just what color amber is. My caramel sauce turned out white and looked more like a substance that you blow out of your nose (or another, less family-friendly place) than one you pour onto a cake.
Here’s how my cake for Joey turned out.
Do you see the white goo? Happy birthday, Joey! Have a slice of snot pie!
Happily, it tasted pretty good, but after a few bites, became way too rich. I ended up scraping the chocolate off the top and Joey only ate the chocolate-wafer crust, so basically, I should’ve just gotten him a package of Oreos and called it a day.
LOL! At least it was just for Joey and not for, say, Thanksgiving dinner with the whole family. If this was being sold in a grocery store, it definitely would have made cakewrecks.com
Nice try.
You should have made oreo balls to go with that goo LOL (they actually are amazing, and not that hard)
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