About a year ago
As the one-year anniversary mark of motherhood approaches, I find myself thinking back to last August, remembering what it was like to be just weeks away from having a baby. I feel so many different emotions when I think about it.
Here’s a flashback. When I see those belly shots, it’s amazing to think that it was my little Adeline in there the whole time.
August 4, 2009
We can all probably agree with the saying, “With every new experience comes new knowledge.” And, man, these last 8-1/2 months have been among the most enlightening and educational of my life. For example, I learned that when your belly goes from this perky, sticking-straight-out appendage…
…to this more “relaxed” and “sagging” version…
…it means your baby is getting ready to enter the world. I am now 38 weeks pregnant and realize my daughter could be born any day now. Our bag is packed and it includes clothing for Joey and I and, for the first time, outfits for a third family member.
When big, life-changing milestone events come my way, I tend to play the “This is the last time…” game, like when I finished college, it was “This is the last exam I will ever take,” and when I got married, it was “This is the last time I’ll sign my maiden name,” and now, it’s “This may be the last weekend we have just the two of us,” or “This may be the last night I have in the house alone.” I think it’s really important to recognize these “lasts,” to slow down enough to say goodbye to the things you’re leaving behind. But I tend to get stuck in my farewells and forget to welcome the new things coming my way. Although I feel sadness leaving our old lifestyle, I’m relieved to say I feel more excitement and anticipation and an overwhelming feeling that even though I’m scared, everything will be okay. Shockingly, I’m not even that freaked out about an actual human being emerging from my body.
At this point, I’m ready to be done housing a baby as it’s become rather uncomfortable to carry around 7 lbs of person in my abdomen. It feels like there’s a heavy sack of potatoes pushing down on my bladder and pelvis, testing how much pressure they can take. My belly is so big and in the way that even simple tasks, like putting on underwear, tying my shoes and picking anything up off the ground, have become challenging. Not to mention the fact that I haven’t been able to see my girl parts since April. But since I spend most of the night peeing, I’m pretty sure they’re still there.
So. That’s the latest. That’s how it feels to be staring motherhood in the face – at least for me. I can’t wait to see what Joey and I created, to watch the people I love welcome our daughter into their lives and to see what I am like as a mother. You guys have been so patient and reassuring – thank you for enduring my whining and uncertainty and reminding me that we’ll do well as parents. I’m really looking forward to showing you our baby girl and finally sharing her name with you.
What a difference a year makes:-)