The Longest First Date in History
Dear Baby Girl,
Three months ago, I met you for the very first time. Although we had already spent nine months together, we had done very little talking and had yet to meet face to face. When I first laid eyes on you, I expected it to be love at first sight, but instead, the moment reflected the reality of the situation – we were strangers that had a vague familiarity with each other.
Our first moments together were surreal. I couldn’t stop staring into your eyes or reaching for your hands. Every moment thereafter was filled with excitement, awkwardness and desperate attempts to communicate. You tried hard to tell me your needs, and while I listened intently, I just didn’t get it and debated if we’d ever get along. But I still let you get to first base faster than any other stranger I’d ever met.
I was determined to make our relationship work, so despite my frustrations, I returned to you every day with open arms. When I realized this experience was just as hard and terrifying for you as it was for me, I tried even harder to reach out to you. Gradually, I began to understand what you’d been telling me for so long. Closeness replaced the awkwardness and before I knew it, a bond had grown, a routine developed and I had fallen madly in love with you.
These last days of our whirlwind relationship find us right where we started – you in my arms and both of us in tears. I cry now from love (instead of fear) and you continue to cry from hunger, except this time my boobs are loaded with milk, it’s just that my sobs keep jostling them out of your mouth as you try to eat.
When I think back to those first weeks with you, I remember how funny it felt to call you by your name. I referred to you as “baby,” “her” and “she,” because back then you were not yet an individual to me. I was still absorbing the fact that you existed. The situation was not yet real to me. Now, you are a part of my family, part of me. You are the thickest glue that has drawn the people I love even closer.
My little Adeline, I want you to know that in this short time, you have changed so many lives and brought more joy and love into them than any of us realized could happen. I’ve never felt more grateful, fulfilled and excited to see what’s next. I was so scared of you and how your presence would change me and my life. And although the emotion fit the situation and my life is dramatically different, that fear has given way to so much happiness and I have changed for the better. I guess what I’m trying to say, Addy, is that you are a gift and it is my honor to by your mother. These months with you have been a blur – a combination of challenges and delights. I have loved watching your personality emerge and witnessing your first milestones. So, here’s to the end of one stage of our lives and the start of another. You probably won’t really notice that I’m gone, but I want you to remember that I love you.
Love,
Mommy
Oh, wow. That is one of the sweetest love notes ever. Seriously.
I can't say that I know how you feel. I'm apparently not destined for the gift of motherhood. But as hard as it is for me to imagine actually having a baby, it's even harder for me to picture having to leave one. New moms are one of the most underappreciated segments of society.
I understand your pain,I went back to work when my little guy was 6 wks old. He's 4 1/2 months now.I'd like to say it gets easier, it does but it still really sucks.I miss him everyday.I can't wait to see his smiling face when I get home from work. I vow that I will be a SAHM someday soon. Where there is a will there is a way.
So sweet!
I write a blog about inspecting basements, crawlspaces,and foundations in the Midwest. http://basementsolutions.blogspot.com I like your blog and was interested in swapping links with you. Email me americrawl2003@yahoo.com back if you are interested.
Thanks,
Larry Ralph
So sweetly written by a mom to the baby, just couldn't stop reading it again.