I’m Bad. Really. And This Isn’t About a Chronometer.
The cold I have is kicking my butt (Seriously – it’s horrible. I’m like a walking fountain of snot. That’s a nice visual, isn’t it?), so this post is going to be pretty short. But it will not be without entertainment. Click play!
About a month ago, I had a run in with the law. It was your classic cops and robbers scene: red and blue lights, blaring sirens, swaggering police men, flashing badges and a young female “criminal” sitting, petrified, in her car wondering “Oh god, what have I done? How did it come to this?”
In other words, I got a speeding ticket. My very first one. Wait – don’t judge me yet! Remember, I am innocent until proven guilty. Let me plead my case. It was a Sunday afternoon and I was on mile 15 of a 50-mile drive home on the freeway. I was going 70, thinking I was well within speeding limit bounds. Now, I will freely admit that I have a bit of a lead foot. I commute 80 miles a day (round trip) to work and I subconsciously try to make it go as fast as possible. So, 70 didn’t seem outrageously fast to me.
When I saw the police lights flashing behind me, I immediately moved out of the officer’s way thinking, “Someone’s getting pulled over! Sucka!” When the police car switched lanes with me, I became slightly nervous. “Um…why are you following me, Mr. Police Man?” I moved over one more time. And so did the cop. “Holy crap, it’s me,” I thought. “I’m the sucka! Damn it. Joey’s going to be so pissed at me and be all ‘You know you had it coming.’”
I reassured myself that the officer would just give me a warning. I mean my driving record is spotless-not even a parking ticket. My anger and concern evaporated slightly. I prepared for this whole incident to be a nonevent and to proudly tell Joey I did not get a speeding ticket. I smiled triumphantly.
Five minutes later, I learned the speed limit was only 55, I would be losing several points from my license and I now owed Milwaukee County $164.00. I wanted to plead my case with the officer, explaining, “I can’t drive 55,” (I’m sorry. That was a really bad Sammy Hagar reference, but it was one that had to be made) but what could I say? “Sha’mon, Officer. Can’t you just give me a warning? Aww, pretty pwease?” and fiercely bat my eyelashes.
Well, I didn’t dispute it. I was going 70 in a 55 mph area. I was in the wrong. So I accepted my ticket. 
Several days later, I received half a dozen of these.
Letters from lawyers offering to help me plead my case. They’re so thoughtful. I threw them away. Because I’m a bad ass. Just like the King of Pop. That’s right. I’m bad. I’m bad. Really. Really. Bad. Sha’mon.
So now I live with the dark mark of the law on my driving record. I realize I am a criminal. I live with that knowledge every day. But I have grown as a driver. I rely on tools like Cruise Control and Odometer to keep my speed in check. So the County of Milwaukee may have won this round, but I plan to live the rest of my life on the right side of law. Which I guess makes me…really…not bad at all. Michael owns that title I guess.
Not sure about Milwaukee, but in Maryland you can wait to pay the ticket and show up in court. Typically the judge will reduce the fine and points especially if you have a clean record. I’d say it’s worth a shot. Sorry to hear ’bout your ticket.
Liz, you might want to at least give the lawyer’s a call. Typically they can get the violation reduced to something like “faulty speedometer” which won’t affect your insurance rates… might be worth the trouble if you do the math of increased insurance rates vs. cost of the lawyer. Just a thought.
Lawyers not lawyer’s. Man I hate when I do that and you can’t edit.
Each state, and city for that matter, is different. In NYC, it usually pays to have your day in court. Besides the fact that NYPD has a bad history of not showing up for court dates (which gets you a pass after two court dates), even if the fine isn’t reduced the judge will often kick the points if you’ve got a good driving record.
Connecticut used to have a barely publicized policy that if you were an out-of-state driver and paid your ticket within 48 hours they wouldn’t report it to your own state or insurance company. Not sure if they do that anymore.
I’ve only had one moving violation encounter in my life. We used to race our motorcycles around the Central Park loop late at night because literally nobody who wasn’t up to no good was in the park after dark. It was when I was 20 and it was a whopper: 110mph in Central Park at 2am, reckless driving and failure to stop (I didn’t see the cop and he couldn’t keep up so he simply blocked the road and waited for us to come around again).
We had two strokes of good luck. The cops were going to arrest us but they couldn’t get a tow truck for the bikes at that hour so they let us walk with tickets. Lucky stroke #2 was that I had a Virginia license and the cop didn’t know there was no reciprocity with NY. Since then I’ve been a good boy.
You know, normally I would say to bite the bullet and pay the fine. However, I think the increase in insurance is worth a day in court. I got a speeding ticket a few years ago and it doubled my insurance rates when I renewed the next year.
Brooklyn Row House, there is wildlife in Central Park. That kind of thing is one of the reasons there is a move on to ban cars from the Park.
Thanks for all the advice you guys! You’re going to want to shake me like I’m your wet-behind-the-ears little sister because I paid the ticket instead of going to court. Mostly because I heard I would’ve had to spend most of the day waiting for my turn with the judge and that the Milwaukee courts typically just give you back one point and make you pay the entire ticket. It just didn’t seem worth it. Now I’ll have to wait and see what happens to my insurance rates…I may regret my choice.
Adam – I love that you made the lawyer’s typo. I am The Queen of typos like that. Which is really sad because I spend about 6 hours of my day writtting. I’m kidding. Writing.
Brooklyn Row House – Holy crap that must have been one hell of a ticket! I’m sure it was a lot of fun riding your bikes around the park (and hopefully not hitting animals), but I bet you learned your lesson.