We Have Become the Neighborhood White Trash
Remember that fancy window I showed you the other day?
Well, it’s gone. See?
That’s because WE GOT NEW WINDOWS!!!! I am so excited I could do the running-man right here in my living room. Except I am terribly uncoordinated and would probably slip and fall, sending my body hurling through one of the new windows. So I shall refrain from any 90s dance moves, despite my intense desire to yell “It’s Hammer Time!” and do a little shuffling, like M.C. himself, across the floor. Besides, I don’t have the appropriate pants, so what would be the point?
Here’s some Hammer Time for your enjoyment. You’re totally going to be chair dancing in to time.
Anywho…that window that was making howling noises…gone! It’s been replaced with this lovely version. 
No more bundling up on the couch in blankets even though the heat is on (“I swear, Joey, I just turned it up to 68. Do not touch the money-hungry thermostat!”), no more watching the blinds blow in the wind as it seeped through the panes of glass, and no more stuffing towels and insulation scraps around the windows to stop the ice cold drafts. Well, except for this window in our kitchen.
We’re waiting to replace the kitchen windows until we remodel it. And yes, that is actually my kitchen. Just from that photo you can get an idea of what a horrifying site it is.
To make way for the new windows, we had to put the old ones somewhere, along with all the boxes that they came in. We decided they would look best on our front porch.
So, our house looks really awesome from the outside now. I’m sure our neighbors love how we keep stacking crap from our house on the porch. But we’re figuring it will all be covered in snow in a week or two, so what’s the big deal?
Every neighborhood needs the white trash folks and we are more than happy to oblige. I’m planning on downing a few beers in the yard tonight while Joey spits his ‘chaw’ juice on the driveway. Now if only I could find a baby to put on my hip while I drink…
And in case you were worried that I would dispose of the fanciest thing in our house…our awesome leaded window is sitting safely in the kitchen.
I plan to clean it up, paint the frame and hang it up somewhere. Not only will it be nice to look at, I also have a really great made-up story to go with it.
One last thing – if you’re thinking about getting new windows and can afford to do so (we saved up for a long time), they are worth it. I can’t even begin to tell you the difference it’s made. The house feels tight, secure and warm. We went with Simonton windows. They’re descent windows that have a lifetime warranty (it even transfers to the next owners) and it’s what we could afford. Thank you to Rick, the spectacular contractor who helped us order them and install them.
There is one draw back to new windows…at least for us. The hardware that we hung our blinds on disappeared with the old ones. In order to have some privacy, I’ve taped our blinds to the windows. 
I had no idea how easily “white trash” would come to me. What can I say, I’m a natural.
What??? I think the blue tape is lovely:-)
Liz, this really made me laugh. Reminded me of early this summer when I had patio furniture, 600 bricks, all my new fence, tools, lawnmower, buckets, stacks of masonry mix and gravel … all kinds of crap jammed under the carport. Our neighbor was talking to the mother and they somehow got on the city’s ban on carports. The mother very aggressively asked, “Now WHY would they do that?”
To which the neighbor somewhat sheepishly said, “Because unlike a garage, you can SEE all the junk in it.”
Yeah. Felt the white trash brand burned into my butt on that one.
Those old windows aren’t junk. They are priceless. Do you realize how much it would cost to have something like that made today? The wavy glass, old-growth lumber are almost unattainable at this point. All they needed were good wood-framed storms that lock and seal tight. Whatever you paid to replace the well-made windows with those plastic ones was too much. They could have been restored for less, and sealed with a well-built storm. Shame on you.
Also, wind doesn’t blow through glass, it blows through the cavity where the weights are, and you can usually seal the cavity effectively by removing your casing from the inside and applying caulk to any leaky areas. Most studies now confirm just insulating the floor of your attic will do much more to retain heat than doing anything to windows.
http://www.state.il.us/hpa/PS/images/replacement_windows.pdf
Kurt – as a person who is concerned about the environment and historic preservation, I sincerely appreciate your opinion and understand where you’re coming from. Thank god for people who help our planet and protect the pieces of history that can be found in old buildings.
Joey and I thought long and hard about buying new windows and we discussed, at length, the idea of repairing the windows we already had. When we realized that the previous owners had for some reason cut off and removed all the weights to all the windows (which is why we’ve had to jam boards under the windows to hold them open in the summer) and that many of the frames were in fact broken and rotting, we starting thinking they might not be worth repairing. I had also noticed that not a single pane of glass had a single wave in it (I am a historic preservationist at heart and spent several years protecting and documenting historic buildings – I know the tell-tale waves you’re talking about). Finally, we found a contractor who would sell us 13 quality windows, and install them, for just $3,400.00. We were sold.
I would also like you to know that we will be offering our windows to a local architectural salvage company in order to keep them out of the dumpster.
So Kurt – yes, shame on me for not using the greenest methods when remodeling my home and for not working with what I already had. But I hope you realize I am more your ally than your enemy when it comes to the environment and historic preservation.
NV – thank goodness I have a white trash buddy! Neighbors who haven’t lived through extensive home remodeling have no right to judge us for the crap we have in our yards!
Susie – thanks! It adds a nice splash of color to the room.
Glad to hear they’re being salvaged. I was just so shocked at first and I over-reacted. I’m still disappointed that you took the easy way out, with the building as the ultimate loser in the situation. I think we might have you beat on the white-trash factor though. I have a neighbor who slaughters pigs in their backyard, in the middle of the city. Ah Kentucky!
Don’t worry about it, I live next to you and it makes me feel better about all the stuff out in my yard. 🙂
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