Stupid Human Tricks

Recently, I attended a gathering where everyone was asked to share their signature “Stupid Human Trick.” As I watched people turn their tongues upside down, display their double-jointed thumbs, wiggle their ears and move their pinky tip independently from the rest of their pinky, I became acutely aware that I had no trick to share.

I racked my brain for odd and strange things I could do, and, besides the fact that I fall over when I stand on one leg and close my eyes, I couldn’t think of any disturbing, yet charmingly-quirky thing my body could do.

Just as I was preparing to admit that I was a human without a trick, it hit me – I could pull out my lame, not that ‘tricky’ of a trick – my Hail Mary of Stupid Human Tricks.

I went for it, and flipped my tongue out and up over my top lip and stuck my bottom lip out into a hugely overexaggerated pout, making it look like…I have really big lips. See? It sounds like the anti-climax to a wildly entertaining round of ‘I’m a Freak, How ‘Bout You?’

I really wish that sculpture had been with me at the party. I think my trick would’ve been a really big hit then.

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