Our Electrician is a Right Good Chap
Do you know who I love? Our electrician, Steve, who I refer to as ‘Cheerio Steve’ because he’s British and British people are always ‘Cheerio’ this and ‘Bloody Hell’ that and then they order crumpets and tea and go visit their mum or the Queen. Such a gross generalization might make me look like an arse, but I’ll take my chances. Anyways, my point is…
I love our electrician because he turned this 1900s knob-and-tube wiring mess/fire hazard…
…into this example of streamlined, modern wiring:
Cheerio Steve, I’d like to quote to you a song by Tina Turner to express my feelings for you. I hope you don’t mind that I’m not using a British band like the Stones or The Beatles.
“You’re simply the best, better than all the rest (of the people we’ve hired)
Better than anyone, anyone I’ve ever met (to work on our house)
I’m stuck on your heart, and hang on every word you say (because you’re British!)
Tear us apart, baby I would rather be dead (because I’d have no electricity) “
Stevie-Poo, thank you for being a good guy, a great electrician, and for simply doing what you said you would. Please have a conversation with our Drywaller, Jeff, who I refer to as ‘Douchebag Jeff’ for reasons I will share in an upcoming post.
Well, cheerio! I’m off to the pub now with some chums for bangers and a pint. Blimey, that’s actually a load of malarkey. Oh, crikey! What rubbish. Have you seen my knickers, you cheeky monkey? Blast, can I borrow a quid? I must look like such a wanker. Okay, that’s pretty much all the British slang words I know.
This post made me want to take a lift to the lorry to the loo! Righty-o, then, and I’m off.
Piss Off, I can not wait to read about Douchebag Jeff!