The Queen of Caulk is De-Throned

**Yes, I know, it’s easy to let your mind wander into the gutter with a post devoted to ‘caulk’. Know that I am talking about C-A-U-L-K.

I spent a lot of time with caulk this week. Almost everyday, I came home and worked with caulk, and when you spend this kind of time caulking, you end up getting messy.

See?

It’s all over my clothes. The white caulk is from the trim in two bedrooms and a bathroom and the tan is from our shower.

I even strolled into work with it on my feet. Cheri, of course, spotted it and demanded I share it with you (by the way, I’m really glad you got to meet her!). Look by my little toe.

This is my foot at work. And yes, there are some bizarre things on my desk. All of these have perfectly normal explanations that center around work shenanigans.

Now, back to the subject at hand…caulk. I have a love-hate relationship with it (Ladies, can I get an ‘Amen’?). Now, I am a skilled caulk handler. I can operate a caulk gun with one hand and can caulk the trim of a large bedroom in the blink of an eye. But, ask me to caulk a shower and I totally freak out. Like…I cried the first time I tried it.

For whatever reason, Joey and I CANNOT caulk a shower to save our lives. Our attempts at it have been laughable at best. Last night, right after I had thought “Hey, maybe we can go to bed at a decent hour tonight,” Joey started Caulking the Shower: Part II. And just as you’d expect from a sequel, it mimicked the story line from Part I and the caulk spooged all over the tiles, causing me to focus very hard on not having another nervous breakdown. We frantically began trying to save our precious slate tiles from the big mean caulk monster. But it was like trying to scrub butter off a piece of toast. Usually in stressful situations like this, one of us can keep our cool and save the other from entering the dark corners of home remodeling despair. Not this time! Joey started going down and I raced him to the bottom. With the way we reacted, you would have thought the world was ending…it was Armageddon rolling in on the heels of a caulk gun and humanity’s survival depended on our ability to scrape Satan’s caulky mess off our pure and angelic tiles. There was such an abundance of swearing, gasping, whining, stomping and cursing of all things caulk-related that it would have given a potty-mouthed two-year-old pause…and inspiration.

So, we scrubbed and scrubbed. Here’s what it looks like from a distance (I’m too ashamed to show you the close-ups):

Please, give me your opinion. Do we need to go over the caulk line near the floor with a darker-colored caulk so the line doesn’t stand out so much? Or is it not that bad? Be honest. I can take it, I swear.

Also, please share your shower-caulking tips or there’s a real chance Joey and I will snap and begin a rampage of caulk-inspired crimes. Is it normal for the caulk to get all over the tiles when you smooth out the bead? Any tips on quick and easy ways to scrub the caulk off of tiles without disrupting the bead you just applied? Do we wait till the caulk gets tacky and kinda dry before trying to clean it off the tiles?

• ← One of Us
• Ultra Super Magnanamous Day →