My Boobs Have Been (Exposed) Everywhere, Man
For those of you who didn’t catch it, that’s a play on the Johnny Cash song “I’ve Been Everywhere, Man.” Because after almost a year of nursing my son, that’s how my breasts feel. They have been whipped out so often and in so many different locations, Washington D.C. and New York included, and are so utilitarian, I’ve become desensitized to the fact that they are supposed to be a private part of my body. At this point, they’re as sexy and sacred to me as my knees or elbows. In the last 12 months, my son has been latched on to me so frequently that I feel like he’s become a permanent accessory…like a booby tassel. My son is a human booby tassel. That’s how I can best sum up nursing for 11 months.
While Crosby does fine with bottles, since I’m home with him all day, I rarely use them. And I started weening him when he was 9-months-old, but he didn’t respond well to formula and at that point, I was so close to the one year mark, I just held off. And here we are. 30 days away from my boobs becoming my own property again. Let’s take a look back at some of the places my boobs and booby tassel (aka Crosby) have been over the last year.
I have nursed at summer festivals. (The polka dotted thing is my nursing cover. Yes, I at least keep the girls veiled while out in the public.)
…during trips to the beach…
… at the bike rental place…
…in my car in a random parking lot, at least one thousand times…
…on family vacations (photo taken by Adeline)…
…in museums (I would like to point out that the only secluded spot in this particular museum did not have any seating. So I had to sit in the goddamn stroller. The stroller, you guys! You have no idea how ridiculous I felt.)
…at bonfires…
…while emailing (again, photo by Adeline. Great view of Crosby, yes?)…
…and during the exact moment that my husband decides to take family photos.
You get the point. My boobs have done their duty and are ready to stay tucked tightly within my shirt. And while it hasn’t really been hard to nurse Crosby this long, I feel like, after a year of doing it, I’m so accustomed to it that I don’t really even have an accurate perspective on it. I am, however, incredibly, out-of-my-mind excited to just give him a sippy cup of milk and go on my merry way instead of being attached to him while he enjoys his beverage. It will be so very liberating. And considering that he now squirms around and even tries standing up while still nursing, I know he’s just as ready as I am.
So, well done boobies. You have done your duty. Wish I could take you to Tahiti or something for some much deserved R & R, but nestling you into a regular, non-nursing bra is the best reward you’re going to get. And I could tell you that it will be the fancy kind from Victoria Secret, but we both know it’ll just be whatever is on sale on Target.
I’ll buy the Victoria’s Secret bra…you’ve more than earned it. You shop, I’ll pay.
love, Dad
Thank you, Father. And I’m sorry you had to read about my boobs on the Internet.
I LOVE the above comment.
My boobs feel your pain. Literally. Just yesterday I calculated that I only have 9 more months of nursing. Eesh.
Ha! I know. At least you know those nine months will go by fast, and 30 years from now, should she decide to become a mother herself, Charlotte will totally appreciate it.
Was it “my” museum that forced you to sit in the stroller? You coulda used my office (sans me).
I am happy to say that your museum offers plenty of dimly lit corners for nursing moms that come with convenient seating…even if it’s part of an exhibit.
I love this post Liz! And although I’m only 4 months in with my first child, I totally understand and agree with everything you said here. Just today, I nursed Calvin at the movie theater, the grocery store parking lot, in the back seat of my car, and at the park on a broken bench next to a homeless man. Too bad I don’t have Addy around to take pics of me to document it all too!
“at the park on a broken bench next to a homeless man” Love that! You and your boobs had a really busy day!
I love that your dad is buying you a new bra. Please report back on that. And good work mama!
Faaaaantastic. Thank you for helping me feel normal.
I’m sure Joey will be happy to have your boobs back too!
You know, you seem to write about the same things going on in my life, and perhaps because our children are the same ages…I remember nursing Kieran so fondly and thinking to myself…I could nurse forever…..
and as Hazel nears the 12 month mark at the end of this month, I am thinking…oh man, I can’t wait for cows milk!
Hazel and I have been more than around the block with nursing as well…and flashed my fair share of people…without a cover….the most recent being that I had to pump at work (since I went back in Aug) and the TECH GUY walked in while I was pumping….later he explained “I don’t have time to knock”….great, really? OK…fine.
Anyway, congrats….I am down to 4 nursing sessions a day with Hazel (all of which she bites me the entire time and tries to stand but gets angry when I end nursing her)….we shall continue the weaning from here!
OLE~!